DEFINITIONS OF BDSM TERMS


Welcome to the perverted dictionary section of My site. The terms submissive and bottom are used interchangeably in the following definitions though they are truly two different roles. This list is far from complete. New definitions will be added on a regular basis... gives you another good reason to keep coming back.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


A

AC/DC - goes both ways. Bisexual.

Age Play - a type of role-play in which one or both parties assume personas of persons much older or younger than their actual age. Examples of such are scenes involving Teacher/student, Daddy/child, Mommy/child, Baby-sitter/child, etc.

Alternative Lifestyle - a term used to describe someone's preference to living outside the 'normal' constraints of society. This term is used by persons who are involved in BDSM, swinging, are gay or lesbian, etc.

Anal play, Ass play - sexual play that involves stimulation of the outer rim of the anus and/or penetration of the rectum; includes rimming.

Animal role-play - a scene in which one or both parties assume animal personas. Most of these scenes involve the submissive becoming an animal in training with the Dominant being in the trainer position. Any animal persona can be taken on though the most popular are that of a dog, cat (domestic and otherwise), horse (or pony), and the beloved pig.

Asphyxiation - to cause a lack of oxygen by smothering, choking, or similar means; Breath play.

Auction - an activity held at BDSM events for fundraising purposes in which Dominants and/or submissives are put up for 'sale' for an evening or scene. Each event has it's own set of rules for any play or contact that takes place between the parties involved.


B

Ball play - erotic manipulation of the testicles and scrotum. Such scenes can involve bondage, piercing, weighting, stretching, tickling, slapping, castration, and other activities.

Bastinado - the act of striking or whipping of the feet with a rod, cane, or similar object.

B/D, B & D - an abbreviation for Bondage and Discipline.

BDsM - a term which combines B & D , D/s, and S & M .

Bell Dancing - attaching bells or other noise making items to the skin with the use of temporary piercing or sutures. Once attached the person begins moving to cause them to sound.

Bestiality - sexual acts performed between a human and an animal.

Better too little than too much - an unwritten rule when playing with someone new to the scene or new to each other that means that it is better to end the scene while still wanting more than to end it regretting doing to much.

Black room - an old term used for 'dungeon'.

Black snake - a completely flexible single-tail whip.

Blood sports - deliberate breaking of the skin during an SM scene. Play involving cutting, piercing, heavy caning or flogging, etc. are included. This type of scene requires extreme safety techniques to protect all parties from the possibility of spreading/contracting diseases such as AIDS, hepatitis, and other blood-hosted viruses.

Blue - a safeword used to end an activity taking place in a scene that is not being enjoyed.

Body Modification - the act of altering the skin, in appearance or shape. Most popular forms of modification are tattoos, piercing, scarification, branding, and corseting. These acts are used as a form of spiritual release, personal freedom, or in the BDSM realm can be used as a mark of Ownership and/or commitment.

Body worship - an act in which the submissive is allowed to touch, kiss, suck, lick, or otherwise stimulate, a part of the Dominant's body. This is usually an act of reward, though can also be a form of humiliation.

Boi - see 'boy'

Bootblack - a person who has mastered the art of polishing, cleaning, worshipping, and caring for boots.

Boot worship - a reward granted to a submissive with a boot fetish in which the submissive shows admiration to the Dominant by kissing, rubbing, riding, and/or otherwise manipulating the Dominant's boot.

Boot slave - a submissive whose sole purpose, no pun intended, is to care for a Dominant's fetish footwear.

Bondage - term used to describe physical restraint of a person using various materials in order to restrict movement. Ropes, cuffs, spaghetti (see food play), hanging cages, etc. can be used in such scenes.

Bondage and Discipline - Some people believe it to be the same as SM; others argue they are totally different activities. I view it as different in the sense that it reflects the definite use of bondage in play, where SM reflects the definite use of erotic pain.

Bottom - a person involved in the scene that has masochistic tendencies and gives control over only during a scene.

Bottom Drop - a temporary bout of depression suffered by a bottom or submissive after a scene. This can be accompanied with feelings of guilt, failure, and confusion. In the book "The Loving Dominant" written by John Warren, Ph.D., the explanation of why this occurs follow the hypothesis that the body interprets the return of the bodies normal sensation levels as a depression which in turn causes the mind to create a further downward spiral while attempting to understand the perceived depression. I believe it can also be caused by sudden feelings of guilt over participating in acts deemed 'immoral' or 'unhealthy' by the standards of society. Term synonymous with Top Drop

Bottom's disease - used to describe a submissive that acts as such towards others without permission or prior negotiation. This is looked down upon by most and viewed as portraying a lack of knowledge regarding proper 'protocol'. Term synonymous with Top's disease.

Bottom space - the mental state a bottom or submissive enters either naturally or during a scene that allows a complete release of submissive energy. Term synonymous with Top space.

Boundaries - limits outlined and agreed upon by the parties involved during negotiations of a scene or BDSM relationship.

Boy - a term used to describe a bottom or submissive who relates to the Dominant in a parent/ child nature. A boy can be a natural male or a female who relates to the male gender. Some butch females prefer to use an'i' instead of the 'y' resulting in the term 'boi'.

Branding - the burning of the skin with a piece of hot metal to produce a design, as well as an endorphin rush. Burn scars can spread or disfigure so a trained modification artist should only perform this activity.

Brat - a term used to describe a submissive that takes on the persona of a rebellious child. Being a brat in a scene is acceptable; being a brat when not negotiated is looked down upon.

Breath play - an activity in which the Dominant controls a submissives breathing. This can be done with the use of tubes, airtight masks, strangulation, drowning, or various other techniques. Sometimes taken to the point where the person passes out. This practice is extremely dangerous and can be deadly; Asphyxiation

Brown showers - a form of 'scat' play that involves one person defecating on other person in an erotic manner.

Butch - a female who possesses masculine qualities. A 'soft butch' has masculine qualities but not the hard male appearance of someone noted as being a 'hard butch'.

Butterfly - a small needle in a plastic holder, which gives the butterfly appearance, used in the medical field to take blood samples from the elderly, children, or others who have small or easily collapsible veins; a small vibrator that fits over the clit, attaches to the submissives waste, and can be controlled with a remote control device.

Butt plug - a cone-shaped object that is inserted into the anus. The shape allows it to be held in place by the anal muscles.


C

Canes - a long, thin, flexible instruments used for caning, as opposed to the one created for use as walking sticks. Canes are made of various materials though most are made out of rattan or fiberglass rods. Rattan canes are My preference because of the natural beauty and excellent flexibility they possess. Canes made of manmade materials have appealing qualities as well, one of which is the variety of colors.

Caning - the act of whipping someone with a long, thin, flexible instrument; canes. Caning is an act that requires experience in order to avoid doing damage.

Cat, Cat-o-nine tails - a whip that has multiple tails that are usually braided or beaded. These whips produce a very stinging sensation, unlike the heavy thud of a flogger.

Catheterization - the insertion of a small sterile tube into the urethra.

CBT - abbreviation for cock and ball torture.

Chicken - an insulting term used to describe a person who is significantly younger than his or her sex partner.

Chicken hawk - someone who is attracted to significantly younger sex partners.

Cicatrization - scarification.

Clit torture - a form of play involving manipulation of the female genitals. These areas are very sensitive and do not require heavy contact to produce an extreme sensation.

Cock and Ball Torture - scene involving painful manipulation of the penis and testicles for erotic purposes.

Cock cage - a device placed on male genitals to restrict the penis.

Cock ring - a ring that is worn around the base of the cock that restricts the blood from flowing out of the penis, blood is allowed to freely flow into the penis, resulting in erection enhancement. Usually the ring allows for both testicles to be passed through it, compressing the scrotum.

Code words - another name for safewords.

Collar - used to indicate that a submissive is under the direction of a Dominant. A collared submissive is viewed as the property of that Dominant and any interaction with the submissive must be approved by the Dominant who owns the collar. A collar given solely for a purpose of play is used to assist the submissive in achieving the headspace necessary for an SM session.

Collared - to wear the collar of a Dominant. A collared submissive is noted as belonging to the Dominant who owns the collar for the time it is worn, either as a fulltime submissive or for a scene.

Colors - a patch bearing a Club insignia that is worn on leather or denim vests to show the wearer is a member of the Club.

Consensual - used to describe activities that have been agreed upon and consented to between competent adults.

Contract - a written document that outlines in detail a BDSM relationship. Limits, expectations, rules, punishments, goals, and any other issues deemed necessary are all spelled out and usually a time limit is placed on the contract.

Co-Topping - an activity in which two or more Dominants coordinate a scene with one or more submissives.

Counting games - activity in which the submissive is required to count the number of strikes received. Some Dominants may require a thank you and request for another strike to be added in the response.

Crop - short for riding crop.

Cross dresser - a person who dresses in clothes normally associated with a gender opposite of their own.

Cross-dressing - wearing attire normally associated with the opposite sex.

Crashing - see Top drop or bottom drop.

Cunnilingus - use of the lips, tongue, and mouth to stimulate the female genitals.

Cupping - the application of cups or simialar items onto the skin to create stimulation. Negative pressure is created inside the cups by use of fire or vaccumn devices to attach the cups to the skin. Cupping originated in China and was first used to treat boils and snake bites but has since evolved to treat various other conditions and illnesses.

Cutting - the act of decorative scarification using a scalpel or other sharp, sterile, instrument. This activity is not one for novices as it can be extremely dangerous.


D

D/s - abbreviation for Dominance and submission.

Daddy - a Dominant male or female that takes on a parent role with a submissive 'boy' or 'girl'. Daddies are known for they're nurturing qualities.

Deal-breaker - an activity or act that defies negotiated terms which causes a permanent end to the parties play relationship.

Decorative binding - the use of ropes or similar materials to restrict a portion of a submissive's body in a creative and effective manner. Rope corsets are a type of decorative binding.

Dental Dam - a sterile latex device used by oral surgeons to create a sterile field in the mouth. A dental dam is used also to protect against transmission of disease during rimming and cunnilingus

Dildo - an object used for sexual penetration. Most dildos are made of rubber or latex and come in various shapes, sizes, and colors.

Discipline - used to describe the teachings of the submissive in proper behavior and etiquette; the punishment/correction administered when a submissive does not behave in an appropriate manner.

DM - abbreviation for Dungeon Master/Mistress

Do-me queen - a term used to describe a submissive that is more interested in self-gratification than in what the Dominant desires. This 'title' is not one to be proud of and that type of a submissive is very undesirable.

Dom - a male identified Dominant.

Domme - a female identified Dominant.

Domina - shortened term for Dominatrix.

Dominance and submission - description used in reference to a relationship or scene that is strictly one of power exchange, no sadomasochistic acts are involved.

Dominant - a person who possesses a dominating persona and enjoying taking control. Dominants may or may not have sadistic tendencies. Also known as a 'Top'.

Domination - the erotic control consensually imposed on a submissive. This can be via physical and/or verbal means.

Dominatrix - a female identified Dominant.

Drag - cross-dressing

Dungeon - a room setup and used for SM play; playroom.

Dungeon Master/Mistress - a person or persons who assures rules are abided by during a play party or at a Dungeon. DM's assure that if a safewordis used during a scene the proper steps are taken. If Red is ever called out during a public party the DM's promptly stop ALL scenes until the issue is rectified.


E

Edge-play - a scene that pushes a person close to a personal limit or 'edge'. The definition of this type of scene varies from person to person, what may be an edge to one individual may not be to another. This type of play should only be done between partners who know one another on a deep level due to the physical, emotional and psychological barriers it deals with.

Electric play - a scene involving the use of electrical devices for erotic stimulation. Be smart when participating in this type of activity and read up on safety precautions. See Electro-torture

Electro-torture - the use of electricity devices in a scene. There are many types of electric instruments used in SM play. The violet wand and tens unit are two of the most popular toys used though there are many different ones in existence. Electric play is another activity that should only be done by a knowledgeable player.

Encasement - the complete confinement of the male genitals in a sack, ball, or similar item, for the purpose of denying stimulation to those areas.

Endorphins - a natural chemical produced by the body that assists it in dealing with pain or stress. The release of endorphins brings on a temporary feeling of pleasure or the effect of being 'high'. Athletes get this sensation every time they perform, as do many participants in SM scenes when play is intense. A person who thrives on these natural chemicals and attempts to reach that stage to an extreme is called an Endorphin Junkie.

Enema - the introduction of fluid into the bowel for erotic and/or cleansing purposes. Enemas can have medicinal qualities with the used of proper herbal substances but must not be done extensively. Note that any substance that enters the body in this manner is 5 times more effective than if consumed orally. Example: One cup of coffee used in an enema is equal to drinking 5 cups.

- to 'force' a submissive to speak, act, or dress in a manner that is out of the norm for that person and is deemed socially unacceptable to do so in public situations. Example: having the person take on a persona of a wonton slut, etc.; Similar to humiliation.

Erotic Power Exchange - another term for SM but is a little more 'vanilla' and socially acceptable.

Exhibitionist - a person who derives sexual pleasure from performing sexual and/or SM acts in a in a public setting. Also used to describe someone who enjoys showing off his or her body to get attention.


F

Fag-hag - a term used in describing a woman who focuses sexual attentions on gay males.

Fellatio - mouth to penis contact.

Femme - a lesbian or bisexual woman who has deep feminine qualities.

Femme Domme - a lesbian or bisexual feminine Dominant.

Feminization - dressing a male or butch female submissive in female clothing and requiring a total female persona to be assumed. This can be seen as humiliating or as a reward depending on the submissive.

Fetish - an article or action that causes arousal in a person that would not normally be considered sexual.

Fetishism - a sexual responsiveness to items, body parts, or behaviors that are not normally viewed as sexual.

Fetters - restraints that are placed on the feet.

Fire-play - a scene involving the use of fire on the body of another person. Done correctly it is painless and safe.

Fisting - the act of inserting the entire hand into the vagina or anus. This practice requires time, patience, and a lot of lubricant.

Flagellation - striking of a person repeatedly in an erotic context. Includes flogging, spanking, paddling, and whipping.

Flagging - the use of keys, bandanas, toys or other item worn to indicate a persons preference in role and/or play activities. Items worn on the left indicate the person is Dominant, right equals bottom or submissive. See Hanky Codes.

Flipping - to turn tables on a Top in a scene. This is usually neither a welcomed practice nor a suggested one.

Flogger - a multi-tailed whip made up of long, flat strips of leather or flexible material. Most floggers produce a heavy thud as opposed to the stingy sensation of the cat-o-nine.

Food play - a scene involving the use of food on, or in, a submissive for decoration or other erotic purpose. Human sundaes and buffet tables are popular at SM gatherings. Pineapple dildos make wonderful centerpieces!

Force-me Queen - a submissive that enjoys being "forced" to perform submissive acts.


G

Gender dysphoria - to be uncomfortable with or unhappy about one's sex. Some people satisfy this condition by cross-dressing or behaving as the opposite sex. Others choose gender reassessment to find satisfaction in their lives.

Gender play - play in which one or both parties assume the persona of a gender opposite of that they were born as.

Geni-torture - the erotic manipulation of the genitals in an intense manner; see clit tortureand CBT.

Girl - a submissive (not always female) who takes a child to parent role when interacting with a Dominant.

Goddess Worship - the worshipping of divine, feminine images and women as magnifications of the Goddess.

Going under - the assuming of a submissive mind-space during, or in preparation of, participation in an SM session or activity. See Bottom space.

Golden Showers - one person urinating on another person in an erotic manner.

Go under - term used to describe assuming a submissive role. Example: "I would love to go under for her".

Governess - a Victorian-style Dominatrix who takes on a parental role when associating with a submissive.


H

Handballing - fisting.

Hankies - colored bandanas used to signify a person's preference in SM activities or role; see flagging.

Hanky Codes - the list that states what hanky color signifies which SM activity. This list is extensive and has variations depending on which faction of the community (gay, straight, lesbian, etc.) it was written to serve. Some of the lists I have found on websites are humorous at best as people try to create new codes.

Harness - a device made of chains and/or leather straps that go on the body to assist in suspension, for pony play, or as decorative attire to show submission; an object made to hold a dildo in place.

Head games - a scene involving manipulation of a person's psychological or emotional state of mind.

Heavy - term used to describe extreme SM play or a person into the giving or receiving of extreme pain, a heavy Top or heavy bottom.

High-heel training - used to describe feminization or the act of teaching a submissive to walk in spiked heels.

Houseboy - a bottom who lives with a Dominant that has the task of caring for the Dominants home. This includes, but is not limited to, maintaining the home, tending to guests, and running household errands.

Humiliation - any activity that causes the submissive to feel shame, embarrassment, or degradation. The means used to accomplish this vary from person to person. Care must be taken to assure no emotional or physiological limits are crossed.


I

Immobilization - the use of bondage tools to restrict a submissive's ability to move.

Infantilism - extreme form of age-play that involves one person assuming the role of an infant. Also describes a person who has a fetish for baby clothes and other baby items.

In-role - adopting a dominant or submissive attitude in preparation for participation in an SM scene or activity. This mindset is to be respected and not interrupted. Some people will state that they are "in role" to assure the mood not be disturbed by outside interaction.

In a scene - active participation in a negotiated SM play scene.


J

Japanese bondage - complex form of rope bondage used for suspension or decorative binding.

Junior S - a top in training or assistant to a Dominant.


K

Kamikaze - a submissive who intentionally seeks out possibly dangerous partners or participates in unsafe activities. This type of person is highly looked down upon in the SM community.

Keyword - another name for a safeword.

Knife play - the use of a knife or other bladed object in a scene. Cutting may or may not be part of a knife play scene. Most of these types of scenes involve light scratching of the skin with the blade or use of the knife to achieve physiological affects... yes, fear is a good thing.


L

Lacing - to connect temporary (or permanent) piercing together with a small chain or thread.

Latex - a type of rubber used in manufacturing of items used to protect against disease or bodily fluid transmission like gloves, condoms, and dental dams. Latex is also a fetish item to some people who enjoy wearing latex clothing or using liquid latex in a scene.

Leather - a term used as a euphemism to SM; a material made from the tanned skins of animals that over the years has become associated with persons who practice SM as well as motorcycle organizations. Leather is also a popular fetish item.

Limits - a set of personal guidlines and boundaries an individual has in regards to type of play and/or BDsM activities he or she does not wish to experience or partake in. These include anything that can cause mental, physical, or emmotional distress to the individual. Some people have two different sets of limits; soft limits,that are limits that are scary for the person to imagine but are not totally out of the realm of possiblity and Hard Limits, those are things that the person does not ever wish to experience or explore.

Low-hangers - a scrotum sack that has been stretched significantly causing the testicles to hang.

Lubricant - an artificial substance to lessen friction during penetration. Water-soluble products are recommended to avoid risks to protective barriers and possibility of vaginal infection.


M

Malicious Warning - purposefully lying about a person in order to deem them an unsafe player by others in the community. This practice is usually done by a scorned play partner and can be grounds for expulsion from many SM organizations.

Manacles - wrist restraints, usually made of metal.

Marks - bruises, welts or other marking of the skin caused during SM activities.

Masochism - the eroticism and enjoyment of pain.

Masochismo - a deep sense of pride felt by a submissive or bottom regarding the amount of pain or other play deemed 'heavy' that he or she can take. Some masochists collect the toys or equipment that have been broken on their bodies as trophies. After 5 a person is considered an Ace Bottom.

Masochist - used to describe a person that enjoys receiving erotic pain. A masochist may or may not have submissive qualities.

Master - a masculine Dominant. I use the word 'masculine' instead of male because there are many lesbian butch Dominants who hold the title of Master. A Master may or may not have sadistic tendencies.

Military scene - the use of uniforms, ranking systems, and behaviors associated with the Military during an SM session. Military mannerisms are also associated with those who live the code of Old Guard.

Mistress - a feminine Dominant. Though I do not know of any males who go by the title of Mistress I do know a few who have the Mommy title so I am sure in this vast community that somewhere there is a male Mistress. (*If anyone knows of one, please email Me*)

Mommy - a feminine Dominant that relates to a submissive in a parent role.

Monday morning rebound syndrome - carries similar effects as Top drop or bottom dropbut on a higher level. The effects do not come on immediately but may appear hours or days after participating in a SM scene.

Mummification - complete immobilization of a submissive's body. This can be done with equipment made specifically for this purpose or by wrapping the body with layers of plastic wrap (or similar material).

Munch - a meeting of SM people for the purpose of socializing, normally held in a restaurant or other 'vanilla' location.


N

Neck snap - the involuntary snapping back of the neck that may occur after a submissive is struck forcefully on the back or buttocks. This can cause neck damage if measures are not taken to halt or minimize that activity.

Negotiate - conversation held for the purpose of outlining the details of a scene or D/s relationship. It is necessary that all parties agree on the specifics of the scene or relationship before any play or service occurs.

Nipple torture - the stimulation of the nipples in a painfully erotic way with clamps, teeth, whips, needles, or other devices.

Nonconsensual - an act that is done against another person's will.

Novice - a person who is just beginning to explore the BDSM world. Most organizations and experienced players are newcomer friendly.


O

Old Guard - a term used for the values, codes, and mannerisms of the male SM community of the 1950's and 60's. This branch of the SM community is highly military oriented. In the Old Guard realm women are not taken as serious players and are excluded from participating in organizations and events.

One to ten - a count used during a scene to verbalize the intensity of an activity they are experiencing or the intensity of contact they are ready to receive.

Open relationship - a relationship in which the parties involved agree to allow contact with other people for sexual and/or SM activities; Non-monogamous.

Oral sex - cunnilingus; fellatio.

Orange - a safeword used to notify a play partner that a limit is close to being reached.

OTK - stands for Over the Knee

Over the Knee - a position involving the placement of the submissive over the knee of the Dominant for the administering of a spanking. This technique is highly erotic and can easily result in sexual arousal.


P

Packing - the activity of wearing a dildo or similar object in the crotch area to simulate male genitals. Placement can be assisted with the use of a harness, button pants or shorts, or tight men's undergarments.

Paddles - flat objects made of wood, leather, or similar materials. Used for paddling.

Paddling - striking a submissive repeatedly with a flat, hard object. Paddling is usually done on the buttocks and/or inner-thighs.

Pain slut - a term used to describe a heavy masochist. This title is seen as complimentary.

Panic snap - a safety device used in suspension and bondage that lengths two ropes or chains together and allows for quick release even if tension exists in the system.

Pankinkual- like this one? I created it. Pankinkual is to be open to the kinks of others, even if it is not your thing. Everyone should have a pankinkual state of mind.

Pansexual - an activity that is open to all who wish to participate and does not discriminate against sexual orientation or practices.

Parachute - a cone-shaped device used to prevent damage to the scrotum when suspending weight from the testicles.

Persona - an alter-personality assumed during a scene.

Piercing - the insertion of sterile needles into the skin for the purpose of sensation or jewelry placement.

Play - a term used in reference to an SM scene or activity.

Play party - a social gathering that allows SM scenes to occur publicly. Play parties have a list of rules that must be followed and usually a Dungeon Master/Mistress that assures all rules for play are abided by.

Play piercing - inserting sterile needles just below the skin. This is done for the purpose of feeling the sensation, not for jewelry placement.

Playroom - a room that is designed and decorated for SM play.; Dungeon

Poignant sensation - a term coined by the Marquis de Sade to describe pain.

Pony play - a subculture all its own, pony play combines various techniques of bondage, control, and more to create a unique form of play that involves the submissive taking on the persona of a pony. 'Ponies' are used for shows, cart pulling, and dressage training. Hand signals, whips, and clickers can be used to create communication between the pony and trainer.

Power exchange - the consensual giving up of control by the bottom and accepting of control by the Top during an SM scene or relationship. Used as a synonym for SM.

Pro-Domme - a Dominatrix who offers SM services for money; Professional.

Professional - someone who engages in SM activities for money. Most who are involved in SM for money do not allow sexual contact between themselves and their clients; others look those who do down upon in the business.

Property - a person who is in a contracted relationship with a Dominant that relates to the submissive in an Ownership manner. A submissive who is considered property must get permission from their owner before any interaction takes place with another Dominant.

Provocation - attempting to gain attention of a Dominant by negative means, such as angering or challenging.

Public Play - the performance of an SM scene at a play party or other function in open view of other people.

Punishment scene< - a scene in which the Dominant administers physical correction for improper behavior on the submissives part, be it genuine or fantasy.

Puppy - a person who enjoys acting as a young dog and is treated as such by its Master. Also used in reference to an over anxious beginner.

Pushing limits - an activity that involves taking a person to the edge of a personal limit, then pushing them to take a little bit more.


Q

Queening - a form of breath play that involves a Dominant sitting on a submissives face.

Quirt - a long, thin, flexible whip designed for equestrian use. It has a braided handle and two or more flat pieces of leather at the end that produce a clapping noise when contact is made with a body part or object.


R

Rebel play - a negotiated scene in which the bottom attempts to resist the Top with verbal and/or physical means, once the Top conquers the bottom the scene is complete.

Red - a safeword used to end a scene immediately and completely.

Red-light Leather - a term I coined to describe sex-only oriented activities and parties. Fun for those who's BDsM goes no deeper than a dildo.

Restraints - bondage devices.

Riding crop - a short, semi-flexible whip with a loop on the end that serve as a lash. The shaft of this whip has cane-like qualities that can be very intense.

Rimming - a term used for mouth to anus contact.

Rod - a Victorian term for a cane or birch branch.

Roles - personas adopted during SM play to assist in acting out fantasies. Some roles are adopted for longer periods, as in a SM relationship.

Roman showers - the act of vomiting on another person.


S

Sadist - a person who specifically enjoys administering pain. A Sadist is not necessarily dominant, nor is a Dominant necessarily sadistic.

Sadomasochism - a term used to describe erotic activities that involve dominance, submission, or the giving and receiving of pain.

Safe call - an arranged phone call that is setup with a safe-contact when going to meet someone new or unfamiliar. Setting up a safe call is extremely important, as is meeting for the first few times in a public setting to assure safety.

Safe contact- a person who is the safety net for a person meeting someone new or unfamiliar. A safe contact must be sure to have all the information written down of where the person is in case the call does not occur so that help can be notified.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual - term seen as the basic guidelines to SM play. Though it does state the major components of a scene it is far from describing to true aspects of such but is simple enough to get the point across.

Safe sex - practiced by those who have self-worth and respect of their partners; safe sex is the use of protective barriers during sexual contact to prevent exchange of bodily fluids and transmission of diseases.

Safeword - an agreed upon word or signal used during a SM scene to communicate when things become too intense or adjustments are required.

Safe-zones - the areas of the body that have fat and muscle layers protecting the bone and vital organs which can be safety struck during SM activities such as flagellationor caning. If you are not familiar with the parts of the body that fit in this category I suggest finding out before participating in a scene, no matter what role you act in.

Saint Catherine's wheel - a wonderful piece of equipment to which a submissive can be bound, and then spun as desired.

Saint Andrew's cross - an X - shaped cross that a submissive can be strapped to for play.

SAM - stands for smart-ass masochist. A bottom that does things purposefully to anger or insult a Dominant for the purpose of gaining attention or to provoke the Dominant to 'punish' them. This type of activity is looked down upon unless it is done as part of a scene and agreed upon by the parties.

Scat - term for feces.

Scene - an encounter that involves BDSM activities; session.

Scrotal expansion - the use of saline solution injected into the scrotum to stretch the ball sack.

Sensory accentuation - the act of manipulating senses by taking away one or more to bring out stronger influences of another. This is done by controlling what the person hears, sees, smells, tastes, etc., completely or in part.

Sensory deprivation - a scene in which the Dominant takes away the senses of a bottom with the use of gloves, blindfolds, bondage, earplugs, etc., in an erotic manner.

Service - any act performed for a Dominant by a submissive that expresses respect, honor, gratitude, or submission.

Session - an SM encounter; scene

Sexual orientation - the chosen preference a person has regarding the gender of his or her sex partner(s). Bisexual, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, are some of the most popular orientations.

Silent alarm - a non-verbal sign of danger that is set-off when a safe call is not placed at the time agreed upon. When contact is not made at the time arranged the contact person would assume something went wrong and proper action is taken.

Single-tail whip - simaliar in design to a bullwhip but usually between 3 and 6 feet in length this whips are made from leather (usually kangaroo),braided over metal ballbearings, with a string-like material 'cracker' at the tip. This whip is also known as a Signal Whip and is most popularly used in dog sled racing to que the animals.

Slave - a submissive that lives it to a deeper level and is usually specialized in one or more areas (valet, maid, chef, companion).

Sling - a large piece of leather, material, or cargo netting suspended by chains in which a submissive can recline and be bound to. Slings are great for fisting, genital piercing, and sensory play.

SM, S & M - sadomasochism; erotic power exchange .

SM orgasm - a physical, emotional, and/or spiritual feeling of ecstasy reached during an SM scene without the use of genital stimulation.

SM-positive - used in reference to a person, group, organization, or business that accepts SM play between consensual adults as a healthy form of sexual expression.

SM virgin - term for someone with little or no experience in SM activities.

Sound - a small curved rod that is inserted into the urethra.

Spanking - the striking of the buttocks with a hand, gloved or bare, or a flat, hard object such as a paddle; paddling.

Speculum - a medical instrument designed to hold open the vagina or anus during exam. There are various uses for it in an SM scene with a willing body and a creative mind.

SSC - abbreviation for Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

Stapling - a temporary piercing technique done with a surgical stapler.

Star-fucker - term used in reference to someone who chases after and plays with only people who are well known, powerful, or famous in the leather community.

Sting - a sensation produced by some toys, such as the cat-o-nine or other devices that causes an intense 'stingy' feeling, as opposed to those which produce a 'thud'.

Submissive - a person who enjoys giving control over to a Dominant and derives pleasure from serving the needs of that Dominant.

Suspension - a form of bondage in which the submissive is suspended off the ground. This is not recommended for persons who are not knowledgeable in this type of play.

Switch - a person who enjoys acting out both the dominantand submissive roles in SM play.


T

Temperature games - a scene involving the use of ice, ointments, or heating substances to alter a bottom's body temperature.

Temporary piercing - the placement of sterile needles under the skin for sensation or decorative purposes instead of jewelry placement. See lacing and bell dancing.

Tens Unit - a medical nerve stimulator used in a SM scene involving electric play.

Thud - a sensation made by toys that have a heavy impact, such as most floggers. Most toys used for flagellation are described as having a sting or thud feeling upon contract with the skin.

Titleholder - a person who has won one of the many Leather contests held in the SM community. Most contests are held as fundraisers for organizations, charities, and awareness programs. Some people look down on these contests comparing them to nothing more than a beauty contest while others believe them to be educational. (Mistress Sky holds the title of Ms New Mexico Leather '98)

Tit torture - another term for nipple torture.

TPE - abbreviation for Total Power Exchange.

Top - term used for a Dominant and/or Sadist.

Top's disease - this is the Dominant version of bottom's disease, where a Dominant acts superior to bottoms and treats them as inferior beings. These Dominants are truly clueless to the true dynamics of SM interaction.

Top drop - the feelings of depression, guilt, etc. that may arise in a Dominant after SM play, especially if wrapping or other error occurs. Submissive version is called bottom drop.

Topping - portraying a dominant persona during SM play; domination .

Topping from the bottom - the act of attempting to dominate a scene when in a submissive position. This type of behavior is not tolerated for long.

Top Space - the mental state a Dominant takes on in preparation for a D/s scene or activity that reflects the persons controlling energy. Term synonymous with Bottom Space

Top toy - any SM instrument that is likely to be much more enjoyable to the Dominant than to the submissive and is usually extremely painful.

Total Power Exchange - a relationship in which the Dominant is in total control over the submissive and dictates all activities.

Toy - any and all items usable in an SM scene.

Training - an educational program designed to teach a top or bottom the dynamics of the BDSM lifestyle and fundamentals of submission as well as servitude. Can also describe the teaching of a specific activity such as feminization or animal mannerisms.

Transsexual - a person who is uncomfortable with their natural gender and acts as, lives as, and portrays his or her self as the opposite sex. Some transsexuals go a step farther and begin hormone therapy to change the shape of their body and/or to prepare for gender reassessment.

Transvestite - a person who dresses and acts as the opposite sex but has no desire to become the opposite sex.

TT - an abbreviation for tit torture.


U

Utility Belt Syndrome - a term used when a Dominant carries too many toys/equipment on their belts. This gives a 'super-hero' and rather comical appearance that reflects the person's newness to the scene or a desire to appear as a 'heavy player'. My thought on this is that a person's true Dominance is reflected from the inside not by how many tools he or she possesses.


V

Vanilla - term used to describe non-SM activities or persons not involved in the BDSM lifestyle.

Vanilla sex - a term for sex that does not involve spanking, role-play, exchange of power, or other SM activity.

Verbal humiliation - a scene that involves degrading a submissive using insults and name-calling. These types of scenes must be negotiated beforehand to assure no emotional limits are crossed.

Violet Wand - a device that produces a generally harmless spark that is used in Electro-torture scenes.

Voyeur


W

Water sports - erotic acts involving urine.

Whipping - the act of administering erotic pain to a submissive using a flogger, cane, crop, single-tail, cat-o-nine, or other flexible instrument.

Whips - objects used for flagellation.

Worship - to kiss, lick, suck, or otherwise show adoration of a body part or object belonging to the Dominant. The word itself is used as a command to direct a submissive to perform acts of worship on an object or body part.

Wrapping - used to describe when a whip stroke strikes along the side of the body or other area outside of the 'safe zone'. This is usually a reflection of lack of skill or carelessness on the part of the Dominant. It can also be caused by a jumpy submissive... moving targets are tricky.

Wurtenburg - the wurtenburg wheel is medical device used in neurological testing that is a popular SM toy due to it's versatility, safety, and ease of use. Its small spikes can give sensations ranging from erotic to annoying.


X


Y

Yellow - a safeword used to temporarily stop a scene, slow it down, or to indicate adjustments need made to body position or restraints.

Yes/No/Maybe - used when negotiating a play scene. Participants name off activities then answer with "yes" for those they would like to try, "no" for those they do not wish to experience, and "maybe" for those that sound like they would be interested with conditions.


Z

Zipper - a set of clothespins or clamps strung together to form a device which can be placed on the skin then pulled off quickly.... Yes, it hurts.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


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